Taking Care of Older & Younger

PHOTO CAPTION: Great Grandma’s love the little ones.

Usually, I write with preschool parents in mind, but God has brought me to a new place in my life. I no longer have children at home any more – well actually I do right now as some of my adult children are living with me, but I don’t have young children that require my constant supervision. I have grandchildren which are my joy. I love spending time with them. I am doing my best to invest in their lives every chance I get. I also am at that point of my life where my mom is needing more care. I am happy to help her. It is a privilege to be there for her. I love hearing stories about what it was like when we were kids. I love seeing the things she has made and hearing her stories even if some of them are repeated. (The thing is, I repeat my stories sometimes too!) I don’t like that I live 300 miles away from her at this time in her life when she needs family more than ever, yet I love living close to my grandkids. I am being pulled in two directions at once and there is only one of me. The question that has niggled at my mind recently is, “How do we honor the older generation and invest in the younger generation at the same time?” It’s a question that I don’t yet have an answer for. I know that since my mom was hospitalized in early September, I have put a lot of miles on my car driving back and forth. How do families care for each other? It’s only by God’s strength which is always available to us and by taking one moment at a time.

If you are a parent of a preschooler, you are taking care. It seems with little ones that our days are consumed with taking care. From getting them up and dressed in the morning to feeding, wiping noses, washing clothes and cleaning up messes, our days are rarely dull! There’s always one more thing to do; one more thing to take care of. I sometimes feel that way on my trips to visit my mom recently. No, I don’t have to wipe runny noses or make sure that she is safe, but there is a lot of care involved. My siblings and I met with her care team, we went to bat for her when the care team wasn’t understanding some of her needs. We signed pages of papers in regard to her care and we moved her into a care facility which required bringing in furniture and other things to make it feel like home. Instead of just being there for mom, there were tons of other things that needed to be attended to as well. I was happy to do it and yet, I admit, I am more than just a little tired after coming home.

If you are the parent of a young child, more often than not, it’s a thankless job and you will become weary, but oh the joy of seeing them grow and learn. The looks of love and admiration in their eyes when they are snuggling with you, the dandelion bouquets and the ‘I love you, mommy.  I love you daddy.‘ are priceless.

Do you find yourself weary of taking care? If, like me, are caring for an aging or ill parent or are caring for a preschooler, you too will feel weary. It can be a thankless job in many ways. I know my mom appreciates us. She feels grateful that we are there, wishes we were there more and yet is sorry that she is bothering us, all at the same time. Mom, If you happen to read this, you are not bothering us. We are happy to be able to help you. We know that you would do the same thing for us if we were the ones who were ill. My grandkids and the kids I work with at church also appreciate me too – at least most of the time. There are times when I’m not sure if some of my teenage grandkids even know that I’m around, but yet, I still know down deep that they love me and I love them. Caring for others can be a tough assignment.

I have learned a lot from my mom through this journey. She is incredibly strong in her faith. She prays a lot and she hasn’t given up. She is determined to get better and is trying to make the best of things although she does get frustrated. Who wouldn’t? With the loss of independence and the pain she has been through, who wouldn’t be frustrated? She also is singing through her journey and helping others to sing along with her. I am thankful for her.

If you are the parent of a preschooler, in all of your taking care this week, set aside some time to say, “Thank you! I love you daddy!” to your heavenly Father. He created these little ones with so much energy. He entrusted them to you and He knows your weariness. He cares. You see while you are taking care of family, God is taking care of you. His eye is ever upon you. He knows every effort you are making and someday, He will reward you. That goes for those who are caring for aging family members too.

I wonder if Ruth became weary as she worked hard to take care of herself and her mother-in-law’s needs? Reaping grain was no easy task in those days. It was hot, dirty, back breaking work, but she was faithful.  Perhaps hunger drove her on or maybe it was her love for Naomi and her love for God. God saw Ruth’s love and faithfulness. He saw Naomi’s pain and bitterness. He was there in the midst of it all. He redeemed their loss. Ruth married Boaz. They had a son, Naomi had a grandson.  Their once empty arms were full again. It must have been with great joy that they cared for little Obed. Caregiving is a journey. As you journey don’t forget the One who is taking care of you.

PARENT PRAYER:
Father God,
Thank you for family. Thank you for the little ones who require so much care and thank you for parents and grandparents who are aging and needing more care. You placed us in families so that we could care for one another. At times, caring for others is difficult, wearisome and we may wonder when our children will grow up, what will happen to our aging parents, will things ever change and yet you are with us. Thank you for your strength and wisdom day by day. Thank you for taking care of us. Amen

HONORING THE OLDER GENERATION & INVESTING IN THE YOUNGER
How can we do both? Is there a happy medium here in our caregiving efforts?These questions are ones that I have been currently asking myself and no, I don’t have answers. I also know that everyone’s situation is different. What is working for my family may not work for yours. so what do we do?

Here are a couple of things that are helping me walk through this journey. i hope that maybe one of these ideas will help you too.

* Pray! Pray for wisdom and guidance, for healing, for miracles. Just pray!

* Enjoy the moments with your loved one, be they preschool age or in their 90’s. There will be moments of laughter and camaraderie if you look for them.
Take one day, one moment at a time.

* Let go of expectations – your house may be a little messier. You may have to say, “No!” to some things that you were doing before. You may even have to let go of some of your dreams for a season. Remember preschoolers grow up and you will not have that elderly grandparent with you forever. Enjoy this moment.

* Take care of yourself. Try to eat healthy (easier said than done when you are spending days on end at the hospital, but try – I put healthy food and snacks in a cooler that I could access in my car), exercise – at least a little, and do something you enjoy.

* Accept help from others.

* Keep loving your little ones. Play with them, take time with them. Read a story together. Enjoy the life that they bring. If you have to be away from your little ones or from an elderly family member for a time for some reason, stay connected. I am currently trying to figure out how to help my mom use technology to stay in touch. I really think she can do it, if we get it set-up for her.

* Remember, God is with you. Trust Him to give you strength. He will walk with each moment with you – one breath at a time.

Kid’s Section

STORY: Boaz & Ruth – Ruth 2:1-23

Do you remember the women in our story last week? Their names were Naomi and Ruth. When Naomi decided to move back to her own country, Ruth went with her. Ruth and Naomi were a family. She helped Naomi.

When Naomi and Ruth got back to Naomi’s hometown, they needed food to eat. (Rub tummy as though hungry.) Ruth went out into the fields to gather grain. (Show piece of wheat if you have any.) Grain can be made into flour to make bread.

Ruth walked behind the workers in the field. She cut the grain left behind in the field. She picked up grain that the workers dropped or missed. Ruth worked all morning. She was tired and thirsty but she kept gathering grain! (Wipe face with hand.)

Boaz owned the field Ruth was working in. Boaz was kind to Ruth. He told her to stay in his field while she gathered grain. He told her that she could drink water when she was thirsty. (Pretend to get a drink.) Ruth thanked Boaz for being so kind to her. Boaz also invited Ruth to eat some of his bread at lunch time. (Pretend to eat.)

Ruth worked all day gathering grain. Naomi was very happy to see how much grain Ruth had gathered. When Naomi heard that Ruth had been working in Boaz’s field, she knew that God was taking care of them. Boaz was also part of Naomi’s family. God gave Naomi and Ruth family to take care of them. God wants families to help each other just like Ruth helped Naomi and Boaz helped Ruth.

Later Boaz and Ruth got married and had a baby boy. They named their baby, Obed. They were thankful for their baby. They were thankful to be a family. Boaz cared for Ruth and for Naomi too.

Our families take care of us and God takes care of us. What are some ways that your family helps take care of you? (Any answer is okay.) How does God take care of us? (He gives us family to care for us. He loves us. He gives us teachers and others to take care of us. He helps us and listens when we pray. He helps us when we are sick and makes us well again. He helps us know who to do.)

MEMORIZE: Ephesians 4:32 NIV – (Hands open like holding a book.)
Be kind – (Softly rub hand along arm.)
And loving – (Give self a hug.)
To each other – (Extend hands outward.)

KNOW: God cares for me.
TALK ABOUT: Who takes care of me?
ASK: Who loves you? God loves me. Who made your family? God made my family.
AND DO… I will thank God for His care.

FUN IDEAS FOR THIS WEEK:

• Take a walk with your child. Do something fun outside. Talk about how thankful you are for your family 

• Pray together for your family and thank God for His care of you.
  
  PRAYER:
  Dear God,
  Thank you for my family and people who care for me. I’m glad you gave me a people to care for me. Help me be to be kind and loving this week. Amen